Set up stage like a talk show. You’ll need a host, Larry; guests, Courtney, Recee, and Buck, Tito, Commercial Spokesperson, 2 security guards, New Boyfriend, plus 3 pre-picked audience participants to whom you’ll give lines beforehand. The commercial and Tito’s part can be axed if you don’t have enough people.
Larry: Good evening and welcome to the Larry Sprunger Show! Today we are dealing with dysfunctional relationships. In today’s society where emotional energy is given away more freely than “D’s” in Mr. Munger’s 5th period biology class (you can replace with the name of a real teacher and class), we find that relationships are more than what meets the eye and knowing is half the battle! Let’s meet our first guest today: Courtney feels like her boyfriend is emotionally struggling with other girls in his small group. Courtney, tell us about Buck.
Courtney: Well, Larry, Buck and I have been dating for 7 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days. At first he was such a romantic. On our first date we made a memory because he gave me a romantic token. He handed me a star and asked, “Courtney, was your father a thief? Because he stole the stars out of the sky and put them in your eyes.” But then he led our small group the next week and gave everyone the same token! It just wasn’t the same anymore!
Larry: Does everyone want to meet Buck?! Let’s bring him out.
(Encourage audience to yell as Buck walks out with flowers and hands them to Courtney.)
Larry: Buck, Buck, Buck! What’s going on here? Courtney seems to think you’re investing emotional energy into other girls. Is that right?
Buck: No, I’m not! I’m just trying to be a good leader!
Courtney: I saw you talking to that new girl and getting her number off the visitor follow-up sheet!
(Courtney and Buck argue and Larry is forced to cut them off.)
Larry: Let’s bring out someone who is a key person in this situation (starts to rap here) – Chill’n out max and relax’n all cool shoot’n some b-ball outside of the school….
This is Buck’s aunt’s son’s girlfriend’s second cousin, twice removed, boyfriend Tito.
(Tito starts to ramble and shout about nothing in particular and Security has to drag him offstage. The crowd yells.)
Larry: Let’s go to a commercial break.
(Commercial about “Abstinence In A Can”)
Larry: Welcome back. For those of you just joining us, we are discussing dysfunctional relationships. Our producers have done some investigating and we believe we’ve found the problem between Courtney and Buck. Let’s give a big Larry Stinger welcome as we bring out Recee! Come on out Recee!
(Fight breaks out between Courtney and Recee. Security breaks them up.)
Recee: Larry, she is just a paranoid, narcissistic, insecure, passive-aggressive church rat! She been dippin’ up in my Kool-aid not even knowing my flavor. Buck and I are just friends. And besides that, he has been showing me a lot about having good quiet times.
Buck: I just admire her prayer life.
Courtney: That’s not all you admire!
Recee: Please!!! Save the drama for your mama cuz my ears don’t want to hear it no more!
(Fight breaks out and Security stops it.)
Larry: OK, let’s get some audience feedback.
Audience Member #1
This comment is for Tito: Can someone get me his phone number, because that boy is fine.
Audience Member #2
Yah-uh Buck…how can you manage two women at once?
Buck: Well, loneliness is the cry for intimacy and she’s been crying on my phone all night long.
(Fight breaks out between the girls again over who they think Buck was referring to. Security breaks it up.)
Audience Member #3
A’ight here’s the deal: I’m going to be real vulnerable right now and share some heart. We have a saying around my youth group, “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future,” and I say all y’all are without a future if you don’t square up with eachother!
Courtney: Before you stood up I knew you were going to say something stupid and you’ve just confirmed that notion!
Recee: I know you didn’t just call her stupid cause it looks more like you’re the only stupid person in this room!
Courtney: Oh, no you didn’t just call me stupid cause your IQ is about the same as your shoe size!
Recee: Oh, you want some o’ my shoe, is that it?!
(Recee removes shoe and chases Courtney with it. Security breaks it up.)
Well, actually Courtney, you told our producers backstage that you have something you’d like to tell Buck.
Well, Buck, these last few months have been great. But I have been admiring someone else’s character and we have started talking.
Let’s bring him out!
(New Boyfriend walks out. He and Buck fight, then Tito runs out to help Buck while Recee and Courtney start going at it again. Security drags everyone offstage.)
Larry: (Sets a stool in the middle of the stage and sits on it.) Today has truly been a commentary on the emotional status of relationships in America today. As displayed here, we know that the human mind is a volatile thing. Perhaps in future years we humans will figure out this thing called relationships and how to control our emotions in them. Until then, we just have to cope.
So, until next time, take care of yourself and each other!