Big Rig (A sick and Twisted Skit)
Materials: several deodorants: spray, roll-on, pump, and solid. Slices of bread or bun, jar of peanut butter, tank top.
Your character is a truck driver named Buck. He comes out, sits down, and starts talking about how he drives the biiiig riiig all over (the towns around your area). But as he drives he gets “powerful smelly”. Not just your average smelly either. And here Buck falls into a rambling discourse of how smelly he is. "I’m talkin’ real smelly-just-got-my-nose-caught-under-the-belly-of-a-dead-fish-smelly-stuck-my-head-in-a-hamper-smelly-dog-died-got-stuffed-in-a-closet-smelly-had-a-dirty-diaper-fall-on-my-face-Whoo! And so I tried me a roll on." Buck applies the roll on liberally. "I figure nothin’ could beat the ol’ rooolllll on. so I’s drivin’ down the road again going ‘Man do I smell mighty fine!’, until I pull up into a truck stop and the lady behind the counter says, ‘wooooeeeee do you smell bad!’ and I did. I stinks! And I’m not talkin’ a little bad. I’m talkin’ dead fish washed up on shore smelly ol’ dress sock been sittin’ in my closet skunk plastered to my radiater gril stuck my gym shorts in an ol locker SMELLY! So I decided to use some of that there pump (apply pump liberally to both sides.), and then I say I’m smellin’ mighty fine. but you know somethin’ I barely drove five miles and I don’t smell fine at all. I smell really bad. I smell…(you figure it out). Any way, Buck then applies the stick and reenacts the smelly stuff, finds out he still doesn’t smell good and goes through the same with the aerosol. Buck finally says, "But I finally found something that does work. Peanut Butter!" Buck now applies the PB to the armpits. "Yep! A little bit of peanut butter and I smell mighty fine while I’m driving the big rig! But y’know, when I’m driving the big rig, sometimes I get powerful hungry! That’s why I carry me a little bread with me (pulls a couple of slices) and so from time to time I make myself a little sandwich!" Buck swabs the bread in the armpits and takes a big bite. "And now I don’t get hungry while driving the big rig!"