Spiritual Growth Agendas
Prude or Pure?
Sexual Purity
Main Point: Help students talk about setting standards for sexual purity. Keep in mind that this discussion doesn’t address “missionary dating” – dating unbelievers. If that’s an issue in your group, you may want to squeeze 2 Cor. 6.14-18 in somewhere or take an entirely different night to talk about it. This also doesn’t spell out sexual sin. We leave that to you, knowing your group better than we do, to broach that facet of the topic.
Supplies:
- Anything you need for your challenge or game
- Video/DVD player, A Walk To Remember or Beethoven’s 2nd video or dvd (see Discussion Starter)
- Song, “Wait For Me”, Rebecca St. James, Transform cd
- Half-sheets (as many as there are students) pretyped:
My Standards of Sexual Purity…
(Type the following statements with enough space between to write personal thoughts.)
Dear God, Please forgive me for….
I need your help to…
I commit to make myself accountable to…..
Signed Date
Kids arrive: about 6:30-6:45
- Make them feel welcome
- Learn names and interests
- Give newcomers a New Person form
Bring it together: about 7:15pm. “Hey, glad to see you all here. Welcome to ???”
Introduce newcomers: Give them a blow-pop, skittles, or Snickers bar, etc.
Youth Challenge or Game: Choose an anywhere game or crowd breaker from Games pages.
Announcements: upcoming activities, events.
Discussion Starter: On "A Walk To Remember" dvd, cue to Scene 19 where Landon and Jamie meet at night to look at stars through her telescope. Landon lays a blanket down. She asks if he’s trying to seduce her. He asks her if she can be seduced; she smiles and shakes her head no. He replies, “That’s what I thought…ergo a second blanket.” They share a tender moment (for which you may later emphasize that romance doesn’t have to include sex).
If you use "Beethoven’s 2nd "video, from the studio logo fast fwd to about 0.57.50 on your counter, where the girl goes upstairs with the host of a party and tries to seduce her. She realizes this isn’t what she wants to do, but he’s locked the door. The dog pulls the deck down, and in doing so, “rescues” her.
Break up into small groups.
Small Group Discussion:- When you think of a discussion on sexual purity, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind? (If you used a movie clip, you could ask: In the movie, the girl doesn’t just throw herself at the guy. What do you think of her?)
- OK, let me change the subject for a minute. When you’ve got a big test coming up, how do you study for it?
- If you approach sexual purity in your life the same way you do studying for tests in school, what grade do you think you’ll get with God?
- Can anyone explain The Law of Diminishing Returns?
(Leaders: Simply put, it means that “it’s never enough”. Once you’re used to a certain level of anything, you want to go to the next level. In this case, unless you’ve predetermined what your standards are ahead of time, once holding hands is no longer satisfying, you want to kiss. Once the thrill of kissing wears off, you want to do a little hands-on exam…then you want a little sum-sumthin’ and AAAUUUGHH! You’re singing, “Oops, I did it again!”)
- Let’s be real, sexual temptation is harder than any academic test we’ll ever have. It’s not if we’re tempted, but when we’re tempted. So, how can we prepare for it?
- Look up 1 Cor 6:18-20 (CEV) – Don’t be immoral in matters of sex. That is a sin against your own body in a way that no other sin is. You surely know that your body is a temple where the Holy Spirit lives. The Spirit is in you and is a gift from God. You are no longer your own. God paid a great price for you. So use your body to honor God.
How does not having sex before marriage honor God?
- What are ways we can stay strong in this area?
Wrap-up:
As we play this song (Leaders: have “Wait For Me” cued and play it on repeat after you pass out papers), I want you to write on this paper if there are standards you’ve been lax in and what they are. Then write a note to God asking Him to forgive you if you need it and to help you overcome temptation in those specific areas. Think about who you will be accountable to for this critical, life-impacting, future-determining area of your life.
(Leaders: Give them a few minutes while the song plays once through, then let it play again at a lower volume.)
Sign and date it, then put it in your Bible or on your mirror at home. What you wrote is personal, but I want to go around and share the name of the person you’re going to be (or already are) accountable to in this area of your life.
Optional Discussion Starter:
(from our Openers Page, Click here to view our Openers Page.)
Was it Worth it?
Needed: Large punch bowl, a dime or quarter, several cans of veggies, sardines, bean dip, (you get the idea)Mix all the contents in a large bowl (should resemble vomit). Put a dime in the bottom. Have students come up one at a time and search for the buried treasure. Give each one 30 seconds to find it. Let winner keep the dime/quarter. Explain that many times we look for answers in the wrong places, or we try things that are not good for us in order to get something of value. I used the phrase "finding a dime in a bucket of vomit" to get the point across.
Punch bowl idea from Alan Lay
Optional Points, Verses, and Questions:
- If you use "A Walk To Remember" dvd, you can continue after Scene 19 into Scene 20 where Landon and his mom talk about Landon’s night with Jamie. His mom is concerned that they’re sleeping together. Landon says, “It’s different with her.” After they talk about his goals, he says, “Mama, Jamie has faith in me…she makes me want to be different.” A good scene to emphasize that purity in a relationship isn’t just about abstaining from sex – it’s about bringing good things out of the other person.
- Think of temptation as brain-cell-sucking situations! Every time your tempted, think of your brain cells being sucked away by stupidity until your common sense is a puddle of slime and you can’t make decisions well.
- Set your standards ahead of time, not only in your own mind, but with your parents, if you can talk to them openly, and with an accountability partner – a youth leader or mature friend.
- Stay away from brain-cell-sucking situations with people you’re attracted to.
- Always imagine yourself 10 years from now and ask, “Will I be happy…really happy with my choice today?” (or “Will I respect myself 10 years from now?”)
- Romans 12:1 (CEV) – Dear friends, God is good. So I beg you to offer your bodies to him as a living sacrifice, pure and pleasing. That’s the most sensible way to serve God.
- If sex is such a gift from God, why is it bad to enjoy it before marriage?
Written by Danette Matty
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