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Music Discussions

Stronger
What Doesn't Kill You
10/21/2011

Main Point: The loss of a relationship doesn’t have to be the death of us. We can use that difficult circumstance to grow even stronger.

The Song: Stronger
Stronger is the latest song by Kelly Clarkson…and it’s screaming up the charts. Right now, it’s on both Billboard’s Top 10 and iTunes Top Charts. And why not? It has a great sound, a positive message, and a pretty cool music video.

In Stronger, Clarkson tells her fans that breaking up isn’t easy, but it doesn’t have to kill you, either. At the outset of the song, we infer that she has just lost her significant other, but instead of crawling into a cave, seeking revenge, becoming angry, or throwing a pity party, Clarkson says “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” In other words, this loss doesn’t have to be the death of her.

Use this song and our music discussion (below) to show your students that they can bounce back from anything with God’s help.

Music Video: Stronger
You can download this song from iTunes for a small fee, or use YouTube to play it for free by clicking on this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn676-fLq7I

Lyrics for Stronger
Here are the song’s set of full lyrics. You can reference them for yourself, or better yet, pass them out to your students as you play the music video linked above.

You know the bed feels warmer
Sleeping here alone
You know I dream in color
And do the things I want
You think you got the best of me
Think you had the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone
Think you left me broken down
Think that I'd come running back
Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

You heard that I was starting over with someone new
They told you I was moving on over you
You didn't think that I'd come back
I'd come back swinging
You tried to break me, but you see
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I'm not the broken hearted
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking bout me
You know in the end the day you left was just my beginning
In the end...
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

Transitional Statement:
Like Kelly, most of us have gone through Breakupsville at one point or another. It’s not easy, and sometimes, it hurts deeply. There are lots of emotions to process and there can even be wounds that need to heal. But her point in this song is that when we lose a relationship – even a romantic one – we can bounce back and be even stronger than before. She’s not saying, and neither am I, that it’s easy…only that it’s possible. Let’s spend a few moments finding out how.


Divide into Small Groups:
Let’s go ahead and split up into our discussion groups, and then afterward we’ll come back together for a final word.

CLICK HERE for a quick training article on how to maximize your small groups using our small group format—a great resource to equip your small group leaders.

Discussion Questions:

  1. AROUND THE CIRCLE: As we get started, let’s all take a second to share our names and our favorite song right now.

  2. ASK A FEW: Do you agree with Clarkson on this? Can you really get stronger from hard things…if they don’t kill you? Why or why not?

  3. ASK A FEW: What are some reasons she could say she is stronger now? Can you think of any examples of her “getting stronger”?

  4. ASK A FEW: Have you ever had a tough experience like this that made you stronger? If so, what was it?

  5. ASK A FEW: What is God’s role in your life when you are aching because of lost love?

  6. Read the following passage:

      James 1:2-12 (ESV)
      Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. 9 Let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation, 10 and the rich in his humiliation, because like a flower of the grass he will pass away. 11 For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits. 12 Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

  7. ASK A FEW: Does it seem strange to you that James says we should be overjoyed when we face difficult circumstances? Why or why not?

  8. ASK A FEW: What does the “testing of our faith” produce, and why is it important?

  9. ASK A FEW: James says to ask God for wisdom in these circumstances. Why is having wisdom important, or is it? (Leaders – This might be one of the most crucial questions you ask. Other songs on the charts right now that deal with the loss of love suggest other, more reckless reactions for dealing with the pain.)

  10. ASK A FEW: Do you think that Kelly Clarkson’s response to her pain in Stronger is a wise one. Why or why not?

  11. ASK A FEW: Why is it important that we triumph over our difficult circumstances? (Leaders – For the answer, check out verse 12.)

  12. ASK A FEW: In your observation, how do most people your age respond to breaking up or losing a romantic relationship?

  13. ASK A FEW: How would their lives be different if they chose to do what Kelly and James say?

  14. AROUND THE CIRCLE: What is the key piece of advice you’re taking away from this discussion?

  15. AROUND THE CIRCLE: Specifically, how will you handle a break up in the future knowing it’s possible to be stronger as a result of that break up?

Wrap Up
Tonight we got a chance to listen to a great song with a helpful message. In Stronger, Kelly Clarkson basically says that breaking up with someone doesn’t have to be the death of us. We can use that moment, as difficult as it is, to grow stronger.

For some of us, especially those of us who may be facing that circumstance right now, that may sound crazy!

But, God’s Word seems to say the same thing. James says we should joyfully use difficult experiences to work on our steadfastness. If we do, our faith will grow, we will become more godly, and we will receive a reward as a result. That’s NOT to say that God wants us to go through heartache and brokenness. It’s just that when we do, He has a game plan for us because He’s so wise and loving. He will never leave us or abandon us, especially when we need Him the most!

As we close up shop tonight, I want us to spend some time in prayer for one another, so be thinking about 1 or 2 prayer partners right now. I know that some of us are facing this exact situation that Kelly is singing about, but some of us are facing pressing situations that have nothing to do with a girlfriend or boyfriend, but are trying nonetheless. I’m gonna give you about 5 minutes to pray for one another as we play some soft music in the background.

Let’s circle up and get to work.


(Give students a good amount of time to pray. When they’re done, you close them in prayer.)

Close in Prayer

Written by David R Smith


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Comments on this post

   Heather         2/7/2012 8:44:31 AM

A needed discussion for today's hurting teens. Thanks for bringing them to scripture.















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