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Anger/Self Control/When Bad Things Happen: Pink - So What Main Point of Discussion: Dealing with hurt… in a way that doesn’t hurt more in the long run!
In our experience, most students, churched and unchurched, keep pretty current with music and music videos. Thanks to YouTube, MTV.com and iTunes, the most popular music videos and songs are free to access only a click away. This music video is not in good taste. The attitude is horrible, there’s mild language (although many sites bleep it out) and other objectionable content. But understand: this discussion is about that attitude and content. Since so many of our kids watch this, we think it’s worth talking about. But we need you to watch the video first and make that decision for yourselves. In addition, if you work with church kids, you may want to let parents know ahead of time that you’ll be showing this video and talking about it. Pink’s “So What” song is #1 on iTunes this week and #2 on Billboard’s hot 100. Pink performed it live at the MTV Video Music Awards last month. Most kids are familiar with the song. The question is… have they really weighed out the message that this song is communicating? Today’s youth are being taught to just react, disregarding the consequences. Their role models react this way, why should they act any different. Just a few weeks ago rapper Kanye West was arrested for a violent reaction to some paparazzis. Most kids today would find no fault with Kanye… after all, paparazzis are frustrating. So how should we react when bad things happen? This discussion will use the song as a springboard to discuss biblical truths about how we can react to hurt. The video is #3 on iTunes right now and is popular all over the web. We suggest you talk with your tech guy (or a techy friend who is computer savy) and have him/her help you prepare to project this video on a big screen for the whole group to see. You can purchase the video for $1.99 or watch it free on many locations like this one (ironic, that this video is on AOL KIDS!) Introducing the Music Video—SAY THIS: “Every once in a while I like to look at the videos that people are watching. Here’s a song that is actually #1 right now on iTunes and #2 on the Billboard charts. I definitely can’t endorse the message of this video, nor do I think it’s a good thing for you to be randomly watching videos like this because they have subtle messages that you guys are definitely bright enough to pick up on. Let’s look at some of the subtle messages in this video, and then weigh them with what we know to be best for us in the long run.” SHOW “So What” VIDEO. Large Group questions—SAY THIS: We just heard a lot of attitude in this song.
Let me read a small portion of the lyrics: Song Lyrics: "So What” I guess i just lost my husband I don't know where he went So i'm gonna drink my money I'm not gonna pay his rent (Nope) I got a brand new attitude And i'm gonna wear it tonight I wanna get in trouble I wanna start a fight Na Na Na Na Na Na Na I wanna start a fight Na Na Na Na Na Na Na I wanna start a fight So so what? I'm still a rock star I got my rock moves And i don't need you And guess what I'm having more fun And now that we're done I'm gonna show you tonight I'm alright, I'm just fine And you're a tool So so what? I am a rockstar I got my rock moves And i don't want you tonight Transition Statement—to Divide Into Small Groups: Pink obviously is reacting to some kind of hurt in this video. Many think this song and video is about her divorce from X-Games competitor, Carey Hart (who makes cameos in the video!). Regardless, she is in pain, and she demonstrates one way that we can react to pain:
Let’s be honest. We’ve all faced pain in this world. And some of us might feel just like Pink did in this video. The question is simple: is this how we should respond when we’re hurt? Or let me ask it another way: how can we deal with hurt in a way that doesn’t cause more hurt in the long run? Let’s go ahead and split up into our discussion groups, and then afterward we’ll come back together for a final word. CLICK HERE for a quick training article on how to maximize your small groups using our small group format—a great resource to equip your small group leaders. Discussion Questions:
Read the Following Passage of Scripture: Galatians 5:13-15 13 You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature ; rather, serve one another in love. 14 The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." 15 If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. Read the Following Passage of Scripture: Matthew 5:21-24 21 "You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca, ' is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell. 23 "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. This passage is interesting. Jesus is talking to some of the religious people of the day that really knew their scriptures. They knew that it wasn’t good to murder, but they had no problem hating others. They had a rule against saying one mean thing, but knew that you could just say it another way. Basically, these people were hateful and mean, but were still obeying the “letter of the law.” Jesus spoke out against that kind of hypocrisy. He wanted to make it clear that it wasn’t okay to walk around holding grudges and stewing hatred in our hearts. Read the Following Passage of Scripture: Proverbs 22:24, 25 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared. Heading Toward the Wrap Up… Wrap Up—SAY THIS: Pink’s song is catchy and it’s obviously fun to listen to, judging by its popularity. The question is: is it true? Maybe Pink knows the answer herself. Maybe the truth isn’t the most popular message to put in a song like this. After all, no one wants to hear about the consequences of our behavior, right? The fact is, when we develop a bad attitude and act out in anger like this, there are consequences. Listening to you all tonight, it’s obvious that many of you know this. I don’t have to convince you or preach at you. The key is plugging into sources that remind of this truth, and avoiding the sources that ensnare us into acting out contrary to what we know to be right and best for us in the long run. Let’s pray as we close our time together. And as I pray I want you to ask yourself three questions:
Close in Prayer by Jonathan McKee  Jonathan McKee, president of The Source for Youth Ministry, is the author of numerous youth ministry books including the brand new 10-Minute Talks, and the award winning books Do They Run When They See You Coming? and Getting Students to Show Up. He speaks and trains at camps, conferences, and events across North America., and provides free resources for youth workers internationally on his website, TheSource4YM.com. |
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