Movie Reviews
by Jonathan McKee and Todd Pearage
Beowulf (2/26/2008)
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence including disturbing images, some sexual material and nudity.
Directed by Robert Zemeckis (Forest Gump, Cast Away, Contact…)
Starring Ray Winstone, Angelina Jolie, Anthony Hopkins, John Malkovich and Crispin Glover
Jonathan's Rating: Skip it
Todd's Rating: Skip it
Beowulf was not at all what we expected.
Jonathan’s Word: I struggle to find the right words to summarize my feelings about this film. So I will simply quote the film’s director, Robert Zemeckis, from the special features section of the Beowulf DVD—titled, A Hero’s Journey-The Making of Beowulf. Beowulf… It’s gonna be no bullsh**, and it’s gonna be just the way it is. In the process, it’ll evolve and we’ll figure out what the movie is. Right now, I can only say that this has nothing to do with the Beowulf that you were forced to read in junior high school. It’s all about eating, drinking, killing, and fornicating.” –Robert ZemeckisAnd take it from me… that summarizes it well.
Todd’s Word: True. But let me take it a little further. Yes, I was forced to read it in high school. In fact I played Beowulf in the school play (not exactly my proudest moment)….
Jonathan’s Word: Hold on… give me a minute. I’m trying to picture you as Beowulf.
Todd’s Word: Easy now… don’t make me show you some of my Beowulf moves!
Jonathan’s Word: I’m shaking.
Todd’s Word: Anyway… so I love the poem. But I hate how the film makers took a classic piece of literature and turn it into a piece of modern day garbage. This is an amazing story that if just told how it was written, with these special effects, it would have been awesome!
The story of Beowulf is an Old English heroic epic poem of anonymous authorship. This piece of Anglo-Saxon literature dates to between the 8th and the 11th century. In the poem, Beowulf, a hero of the Geats, battles three antagonists: Grendel, who is attacking the Danish mead hall called Heorot and its inhabitants; Grendel's mother; and later in life he battles an unnamed dragon. Beowulf returns to Geatland (modern southern Sweden) and becomes a king, but in the battle against the dragon, he is mortally wounded and after his death he is buried in a barrow in Geatland by his retainers.
That’s the poem. The movie takes this story and a whole bunch of liberties; the final product is a digitally rendered modern day retelling of a classic story.
Jonathan’s Word: The film was also one of the most violent films I’ve seen. Don’t expect a cute little animated flick. Don’t even expect Lord of the Rings violence. Beowulf is probably a little closer to the film 300 than it is to Lord of the Rings.
Todd’s Word: In all fairness Beowulf isn’t a pretty fairy tale; then again I wasn’t looking for or expecting one. I was expecting something great, but I was sooooo disappointed.
Jonathan’s Word: I can’t really say that I enjoyed the film either. I was definitely on the edge of my seat at the beginning. The action was good, the performances were good… I guess I just didn’t enjoy this interpretation of the story. I know, I know! Beowulf is not necessarily a fairy tale, happily-ever-after story to begin with. But this version was REALLY dark! And true to the story or not… the film was over-the-top sexually. I don’t know who’s giving out these PG-13’s lately… but they are truly becoming one of the most deceptive ratings. I think there are many R-rated films that I’d let my high school age son see with me instead of PG-13 films like this.
Todd’s Word: Not only did the rating thing bother me, but the “character assassination.” I can actually remember reading it and struggling through it as a student. I remember Beowulf being a hero, possessing honor and integrity, being both loyal and fair. In this modern day adaptation we see this great character as a womanizing, greedy, bloodthirsty monster. In fact there were times where I had more sympathy for Grendel.
Jonathan’s Word: That’s funny you should say that. I was thinking the exact same thing during the middle of the film.
I gotta admit, the film was visually intriguing. When the DVD came out, I immediately watched the special features so I could see how they did the animation. It was fascinating. But the good effects didn’t trump the bitter taste the film had left in my mouth. Todd’s Word: I’ll agree as long as “visually intriguing,” means the computer animation and not seeing a bloated Anthony Hopkins half naked (or a naked Beowulf for that matter).
Jonathan’s Word: Well it appears we agree on this one.
Hey Todd? You didn’t go naked when you played Beowulf did you?
Todd’s Word: No. I realized that some of the high school girls at the school weren’t ready for…
Jonathan’s Word: ...for years of therapy?
On that note. I think we both agree that you should skip this film!
SHOULD KIDS SEE IT? No way. This film will leave images in your kids’ heads that will either haunt them or tease them for weeks (like an image of Todd naked!). And please don’t let this be a substitute for the classic story.
Todd Pearage is a movie buff at heart, but he's not your traditional film critic.
Todd is a blue collar film geek, from his job years ago at Blockbuster to his heartfelt online movie reviews. But
Todd isn't just a film geek. He has worked with middle and high school students since 1991 as a youth pastor in
Baptist, Methodist and Presbyterian Churches. Todd and his wife Lynda are both graduates of Philadelphia Biblical
University and have two children, Brianna and Caleb. Todd loves sports and movies and is always up for a good laugh.
He is a die-hard Pittsburgh Steelers fan, and his favorite movies include Braveheart and Tommy Boy. Todd's reviews
reflect his love for kids and for his family.
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