Wow... I don't know if I totally disagree with this.

The Iranian vice president is speaking out against Barbie, computer games, and movies.

In this Times Online article it's evident that Barbie and other western toys are not welcome:

Barbie dolls and other western toys will lead to "destructive and cultural consequences" for Iran, the country's leading prosecutor wrote in a letter to the Iranian vice-president, published in the Mardom Salari newspaper. "The appearance of personalities such as Barbie, Batman, Spiderman and Harry Potter and ... computer games and movies are all a danger "  A toy seller Masoumeh Rahimi adds that Barbie in particular  is "foreign to Iran's culture" ,  wanton, and " more harmful than an American missile".  

Hmmmm. I'm not sure what he's afraid of in Batman and Spiderman. Maybe those spandex suits are just too revealing. :) But I think there's a kernal of truth in this guy's worries when you take a look at some of the toys and games our culture is pimping out to our kids. It would be hard for us to deny some of the "destructive and cultural consequences" we are seeing from the media.

But I think this guy is taking the extreme position. It's all evil!

The other extreme is embraced by much of our culture. We should let our kids be free to choose what is right for them. 

I have to admit... I don't like either extreme. I guess that's where good parenting is going to have to just kick in.

Thoughts?

Miley is regretting her decision big time.

Haven't we all regretted decisions at one time or another? That's why this is a great opportunity to discuss decision making with our kids. (Note: I've included discussion questions with a scripture passage below)

Here's the skinny: Last week I was surprised by an email from a blog subscriber telling me that Miley had just taken some shots of herself in her underwear and one shot of herself pulling her shirt down exposing her green bra. I didn't post anything because there was some debate as to whether it was truly Miley or not. No statement was issued.

Well... this morning a new set of photos have emerged... and it's no secret. Associated Press spells it out:

Miley Cyrus is taking issue with a photo of herself that's going around, and it's not another amateur, truth-or-dare Internet snapshot — it's the handiwork of Annie Leibovitz.

"I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be 'artistic' and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed," Cyrus said Sunday in a statement through her publicist. "I never intended for any of this to happen and I apologize to my fans who I care so deeply about."

The photos, appearing in the upcoming issue of Vanity Fair, were taken by Leibovitz, a renowned celebrity photographer whose edgy, silver-toned portraits have included subjects such as Angelina Jolie, Scarlett Johansson and a naked, pregnant Demi Moore.

The picture doesn’t show any nudity, but it shows the shirtless Miley covering her front with a blanket and showing her bare back to the camera. Even though this picture isn’t pornographic, it disturbed Disney and Miley enough that they both issued statements. And most people agree that Miley had been duped so Vanity Fair can just sell magazines.

Obviously this makes me sad. Miley is one of the few superstars that I've felt pretty good about my kids watching and listening to. She seems to have a faith (I've blogged on that before), although I've never heard her talk too specifically about it (Remember people, just because she said "I want to thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" at the recent awards, that doesn't mean anything. Don't ask me to list the people who have said those exact words receiving awards).  But, as I've mentioned in a previous blog about Miley, her parents are once again proving to demonstrate questionable judgment.

THOUGHT FOR DISCUSSION WITH OUR KIDS:
So what can we as youth workers and parents do about this? I think that this issue like many issues is a jumpstarter to dialogues with our kids about decision making. I'd use this statement from Cyrus in the Associated Press article:

"I think it's really artsy," she told the magazine at the time. "It wasn't in a skanky way. Annie took, like, a beautiful shot, and I thought that was really cool. That's what she wanted me to do, and you can't say no to Annie."

CNN expands on this:

And you can't say no to Annie. She's so cute. She gets this puppy dog look and you're like, 'O.K.'"

then this...

"I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be 'artistic' and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed," Cyrus said Sunday in a statement through her publicist. "I never intended for any of this to happen and I apologize to my fans who I care so deeply about."

Then I'd ask our kids:

1. Why do you think Miley changed her mind after she saw the pictures?

2. Have you ever made a decision and regretted it later?

3. When we make decisions based on "what feels right at the moment," are those decisions always right?

4. What guideline should we use for making decisions?

5. The world sometimes puts on a lot of pressure to do wrong. Miley said that it was hard to say no to Annie... with her puppy dog look she was very convincing. Is there someone it's hard for you to say no to?

6. How can we equip ourselves to make good decisions even when "the pressure is on" to make bad ones?

What the Bible Says:
The world can be pretty convincing in their lies, so much so that their lies sound like the truth at the moment. The Bible talks about escaping this kind of thinking and letting Christ influence us instead of the world. Check it out:

 “Then we will no longer be like children, forever changing our minds about what we believe because someone has told us something different or because someone has cleverly lied to us and made the lie sound like the truth. [15] Instead, we will hold to the truth in love, becoming more and more in every way like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church." (Ephes. 4:14-15, NLT) 

7. According to the beginning of the verses, what will be no longer be like?  What does that mean?

8. According to the end of the verse, what should we be like?  How can we do that?

9. What is one way that you could try to be more like Christ this week?

Wow... you guys are going to find this week's Youth Culture Window article (the weekly article featured in the magnifying glass on the front page of our web site ) fascinating. The very controversial Grand Theft Auto 4 video game has successfully resisted arrest and will be released worldwide this Tuesday, April 29th.

Youth Culture Window author David R. Smith writes:

“Remember kids – it’s only illegal if you get caught!” 

You can thank the Grand Theft Auto 4 website for that little piece of advice to our children. And this Tuesday, April 29th, when this new game is released worldwide, kids will be able to vicariously drive drunk, get lap dances, and maliciously attack unsuspecting crowds with various weapons. GTA4 definitely earns its “M for Mature” rating. 

David goes on...

Players who want to extract all the “entertainment” from the game will run across plenty of shady characters and can witness and participate in execution-style murders, torture, high speed car chases, shootouts with cops, and strip clubs offering everything from drinks to pole dancing. GTA4 encompasses all the lawlessness that 150 of the world’s best video game programmers could jam into one title.

A very informative article. Wow.

This is just pure fun. As a fiilm buff I was tickled when I saw these creative stills from Vanity Fair, all remakes of classic Hitchcock film moments.

Check out people like Charlize Theron as Grace Kelly's Margot Mary Wendice about to be strangled in Dial M for Murder. ( I placed their remake and original side by side for you)

Or one of my favorites... do you recognize these two? (hard to replace Grace Kelly and James Stewart... but these two aren't bad)

That's Scarlett Johansson and Javier Bardem. 

Other actors posing for these classic stills include Renee Zellweger, Gweneth Paltrow, Keira Knightley, Eva Marie Saint (how's that for nostalgic), Ben Foster (one of my favorite up and coming actors) and a bunch of other faces you'll recognize!

Fun stuff! Click here to scroll through them all.

I'm always intrigued by people's conceptions of God. I have found that their expressions of these perceptions don't necessarily reflect what someone truly believes, more what is convenient or easier to swallow. But they do give us a glimpse into their attitudes and feelings about God.

I guess that's why this Dear God web site didn't surprise me.

The Times Online describes the site as "new and achingly cool" allowing you to "petition the deity of your choosing with worries and requests and to read other people's. Replies not guaranteed." The site allows people to "share their inner-most hopes and fears with their version of God."

How P.C.

Clicking there, you'll find the prayers divided by topic. I was directed to a whole section full of prayers expressing doubt, even anger. Many of these reveal a porthole into the world of people that aren't that excited about God. Take this email from Benjamin in Sydney Australia for example:

Dear GOD!Do you really expect me not to have sex with my girlfriend? Do you really expect me to not love my father for his sexual orientation? Do you real expect me not to have fun, not to drink and not to eat meat? Do you really expect me to surrender my whole life for you? Seriously god, you are not the center of the universe. Please stop taking over peoples lives. YOUR CREATED THEM - YOU DO NOT OWN THEM!!! Benjamin, Sydney/Australia

Hmmmmmmmm.

I love this article. FInally verbalizing what I've thought for years now (wondering why kids even watch this show).

The article questions why MTV even renewed its "once hit show" The Real World for its 21st season. Unlike the author of the article, I was never a fan of the show. But I think he nailed it when he said this:

Those of us who watched the show in its early years — before reality television fueled all of television, popular culture and the media — recall a series that cast people with actual lives... Now, the cast members apparently have nothing to do besides be on "The Real World" — at least, until they can permanently wallow in the MTV cesspool via its "Real World/Road Rules Challenge" shows. They sit around the house except when they leave to party or go to their producer-arranged group job, and thus have plenty of time to drink, scream at each other and make out.

That pretty much wraps it up!

(Thanks to Todd for the article)

Oh boy… here we go again. It’s happening next week.

Why is it that Christians always feel that they need to “stand up for their rights” and speak out against organizations, or governments that are caught up in sin?

Where is this in the Bible?

It’s probably no secret to some of you that this Friday is the pro-homosexual tolerance Day of Silence. This day brings attention to the anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools. I’m not going to address the issue of homo-sexuality in this blog. I’ve addressed it before in blogs and articles. In this blog I’m simply addressing our RESPONSE to the world when we don’t like what we see. (and I’m going to highlight an example of how NOT to respond)

Why do Christians think that picket signs or protesting is the answer?

Let me ask you one question. Name one person you know that accepted Christ because someone “protested” them into the Kingdom.

So why do Christians feel the need to do this?

Oh… I know why. It’s because when Jesus looked at the corrupt government of his day (Are you aware of what was going on in Herod’s house at the time?) he must have responded by gathering a mob and picketing the immoral lifestyle… wait… just a second… you mean… he didn’t? Well maybe he started a website, organizing people to protest in another way? No?

Hmmmmmm.

Well, Christians have created their own day in response to the Day of Silence called The Day of Truth. On Monday, April 28, 2008, some Christians have decided to establish this day to “counter the promotion of the homosexual agenda and express an opposing viewpoint from a Christian perspective… The Day of Truth provides an opportunity to publicly exercise our free speech rights.”

When I saw this I immediately thought of a few conversations I've had with Dan Kimball on the subject. Dan is a Christian speaker and author who believes engaging in homosexual acts is a sin, but shows incredible compassion and love to the homosexual community (He touches on this in our podcast with him, Podcast Episode #12 and in his powerful book, They Like Jesus, But Not the Church). I asked Dan his opinion about this Christian response- The Day of Truth. Dan gave me some quick thoughts:

i think those types of things end up doing more harm than good. i would encourage parents to be talking with their teenagers and youth leaders addressing it wisely in their ministries, but doing a public event at a high school i am not sure is beneficial to the direction of hope.  i would encourage the Christian teenagers to simply be friends with gay students and pro-gay students, and in the context of friendships the message of jesus will come through. I don't know if formalizing a date to do it only reinforces things and we lose our voice. 

I can't agree more.

Earlier this year many of us saw statistics of just how bad we look to the rest of the world. Only 16% of unchurched people had positive things to say about Christians. The majority of them used words like "hypocrite" and "judgemental" to describe us.

It all comes down to this. The Day of Truth web site is not without good intentions. They seem to be seeking conversation with homosexuals. Their cards bear this as part of their message:

It's time for an honest conversation about homosexuality.
There's freedom to change if you want to.
Let’s talk.

I think talking is good. But here's what I'll leave you with: If our goal is conversations, do you really think a formal day of "speaking out" will create conversations with homo-sexuals? Or will it build walls?

In one of our recent podcast's I talked about the new video game Wii Fit. We jested... "What's next?"

I guess we should have kept our mouths shut!

ABC News tells us that Wii is working on a home stripping game. Yeah, that's right. Check it out:

Peekaboo, a company that specializes in temporary at-home stripper polls, including one endorsed by Carmen Electra, announced this week that it's developing a strip aerobics game for the Wii.

"Peekaboo is pleased to confirm that it is in talks to develop a game for the Nintendo Wii that meets mainstream demand for the fun and fitness benefits of pole dancing," the company said in an e-mailed statement. "Peekaboo and its partners are focused on using Wii-friendly hardware to make aerobic pole dancing instantly accessible just as 'Guitar Hero' did for rock'n'roll."

I can see people's video game collection now. "Hmmmm. Let's see. What do you want to play? Mario? Sonic? Zelda? ...Pole Dancing?"

All week we've been talking about abstinence. "Just wait until marriage."

That was a message easier said to my great grandpa and grandma. They were married before age 20. Rewind a couple years before that. Remember how old Laura Ingalls was on Little House on the Prairie? (Don't tell me you don't remember that TV show... or I'm feeling really old!) Yeah, Laura earned her teaching certificate at age 15, starting seeing the man she would eventually marry, then married him at age 18.

That's quite a different portrait for the typical girl trying to earn her master's degree today who statistically won't marry until about age 30.  (poor Almanzo would have had to take 12 years of cold showers waiting for Laura today!)

When we ask our kids to "wait" ... how long are we really asking them to wait?

Marriage consultant and author Stephanie Coontz talks about this in her article about the decline of Married-Couple Households:

The biggest reason married-couple households are now outnumbered by unmarried ones is the rising age at which people first marry. In 1960, the median age of marriage (with half of all individuals marrying before this age and half after) was 23 for men and 20 for women. Half of all women married before they left their teens! Today the median age of marriage is 27 for men and almost 26 for women. Among women who pursue graduate degrees, it is about 30.

I talked about this in an article almost six years ago in response to a Washington Post article where the author raised some really good questions about age (and drew some conclusions that I didn't agree with). He pointed out the noticeable difficulty of abstinence with the average age of marriage rising. Author Philip D. Harvey argues:

The average age of marriage in the United States today is 27 for men and 26 for women.  The abstinence-only program therefore asks our young people to renounce sexual activity throughout much of the early part of adult life ...

... I wonder if those who seriously advocate abstinence until marriage would prefer to see the marriage age come down...

...But in modern industrialized societies, where women have educational opportunities and more than half attend college, marriage in the teenage years will likely become increasingly rare.  If we agree, as I think most Americans do, that equal educational and occupational opportunities for women are a good thing, that our society is enhanced and enriched by these developments, then I think we must accept the fact that marriage in the middle or late twenties is the modern societal norm.  If that is so, the expectation of sexual abstinence until marriage is utterly unrealistic.

Philip poses a great question about the growing difficulty of what we're asking kids to do.

This age of marriage changes regionally, even more so out of the U.S. In Denmark the average age of someone's first marriage is 32.5 for men and 30.1 for women. But in Bangladesh it's 21 for men and 16 for women. Maybe that's what our kids need to do. Just move to Bangladesh!

In America the ages change as do the laws of when you can even marry. Most states allow males to marry at age 18 and females at 16 with parental consent. Exceptions include Hawaii, Missouri and Georgia where females only have to be 15 with parental consent (and Georgia allows 16 year old females to get married without parental consent if they are pregnant). There we go. If you can't afford to go to Bangladesh, just move to Atlanta!

Regardless, the age is changing. About.com documents the exact change on this page:

Year --- Men--- Women
2003 --- 27.1 --- 25.3
2002 --- 26.9 --- 25.3
2001 --- 26.9 --- 25.1
2000 --- 26.8 --- 25.1
1999 --- 26.9 --- 25.1
1998 --- 26.7 --- 25.0
1997 --- 26.8 --- 25.0
1996 --- 27.1 --- 24.8
1995 --- 26.9 --- 24.5
1994 --- 26.7 --- 24.5
1993 --- 26.5 --- 24.5
1992 --- 26.5 --- 24.4
1991 --- 26.3 --- 24.1
1990 --- 26.1 --- 23.9

1989 --- 26.2 --- 23.8
1988 --- 25.9 --- 23.6
1987 --- 25.8 --- 23.6
1986 --- 25.7 --- 23.1
1985 --- 25.5 --- 23.3
1984 --- 25.4 --- 23.0
1983 --- 25.4 --- 22.8
1982 --- 25.2 --- 22.5
1981 --- 24.8 --- 22.3
1980 --- 24.7 --- 22.0

1979 --- 24.4 --- 22.1
1978 --- 24.2 --- 21.8
1977 --- 24.0 --- 21.6
1976 --- 23.8 --- 21.3
1975 --- 23.5 --- 21.1
1974 --- 23.1 --- 21.1
1973 --- 23.2 --- 21.0
1972 --- 23.3 --- 20.9
1971 --- 23.1 --- 20.9
1970 --- 23.2 --- 20.8

1969 --- 23.2 --- 20.8
1968 --- 23.1 --- 20.8
1967 --- 23.1 --- 20.6
1966 --- 22.8 --- 20.5
1965 --- 22.8 --- 20.6
1964 --- 23.1 --- 20.5
1963 --- 22.8 --- 20.5
1962 --- 22.7 --- 20.3
1961 --- 22.8 --- 20.3
1960 --- 22.8 --- 20.3

1959 --- 22.5 --- 20.2
1958 --- 22.6 --- 20.2
1957 --- 22.6 --- 20.3
1956 --- 22.5 --- 20.1
1955 --- 22.6 --- 20.2
1954 --- 23.0 --- 20.3
1953 --- 22.8 --- 20.2
1952 --- 23.0 --- 20.2
1951 --- 22.9 --- 20.4
1950 --- 22.8 --- 20.3

1949 --- 22.7 --- 20.3
1948 --- 23.3 --- 20.4
1947 --- 23.7 --- 20.5
1940 --- 24.3 --- 21.5

1930 --- 24.3 --- 21.3

1920 --- 24.6 --- 21.2

1910 --- 25.1 --- 21.6

1900 --- 25.9 --- 21.9

1890 --- 26.1 --- 22.0

So what is my 2 cents on all of this?

Well, I don't live in Georgia, but do the math. I was 37-years-old this year when I celebrated my 17th year wedding anniversary with my wife. (17 years and we still like each other.)

Hmmmmmmm.

Last week my wife and I watched a TV show where a student was expelled from school for protesting an abstinence assembly by playing George Michael's song "I Want Your Sex" over a boombox. In this fictional prime time TV drama, the student and her lawyer preached that "abstinence sex education" was an oxy-moron. They jested that it was setting up kids for failure by telling them to not use condoms and not telling them the whole story.

This is not to far off from Planned Parenhood's claim that  "...the national policy of promoting abstinence-only programs is a $1.5 billion failure, and teenage girls are paying the real price."

I was frustrated watching the TV show. After all, I've seen good and bad abstinence education. At the beginning of this season of American Idol we saw two ludicrous examples. We saw a young girl contestant who claimed that she taught abstinence education. Simon skeptically asked her, "Go ahead and share a little bit of your pitch."

She began her weak, inarticulate case that sounded something like, "uh... well you just shouldn't. There is so much other stuff to do instead like sports. So don't do it."

A week later an awkward middle-aged man too old for the competition claimed that he had a song that kids needed to hear. This goofy little man began singing his rediculous song, "No sex allowed! I don't want to be part of that crowd!" (Randy and Paula joined in, jesting)

Is this what the world thinks of the message of abstinence? A bunch of homely losers who can't "get laid" anyway so we are telling others, "Just clench your knees together and everything will be alright!"

I don't think that's a true representation of abstinence education. But we would be ignorant to not search for answers to this epidemic. (yes... I call 1 in 4 teenage girls getting a disease an epidemic). After all, whether we agree with it or not... whether we like it or not... we've been teaching abstinence in schools and churches for the last few years, and the problem is not better.

Hence yesterday's blog asking for answers.

The world's answer is to swing the pendulum all the way back and claim, "Bush's program isn't working. So instead, let's get excited about Trojan's new 'Evolve' campaign: Use a condom every time."

I don't think that a false sense of security is the answer.

But the church seems to be saying that condoms are never the answer.

In yesterday's blog someone had the guts to bring up that tough question in their comments. Randi asked:

"...if the statistics I'm reading are correct and 70% of teens DO have sex before they are 18, then at least 5 of the girls in my youth group are going to have sex before they are 18, and some of them might get STD's or end up pregnant too.

That in mind, this is my question: is it inappropriate to discuss using condoms or other such things at church? I'm torn because on the one hand, I definitely DO NOT want to go there and then have the youth think that we are saying "Hey, if you use a condom, that's a free pass to go have sex"

Randi asked the question that abstinence-education is being criticized for not asking. (and note: she just asked a question- that's not a sin, you know!)

Chuck responded to this saying, "I think we need to talk about condom use. However, only from the standpoint of their unaffectiveness."

"Pilgrim" responded like this: "It's not only condoning, but capitulating to the lies of the culture that helped get us here! Would we tell teens that because they are already going to drink alcohol, they should choose a designated driver to cut down their chances of a DUI?"

Todd said this: "I agree with pilgrim. The Bible is so clear on this and honestly I get sick to my stomach when I see churches and pastors begin to compromise BIBLICAL STANDARDS for cultural opinions. There is just no place for it. Why stop at sex and drinking, what about cheating, drugs, murder...remember when sin was sin???"

Are they right?

In New York Times' recent article about Harvard's "Students of Virginity" (an excellent article that presents a case for a Harvard club that believes waiting is the answer) mentioned some sobering facts:

"...those who took virginity pledges preserved their technical virginity about 18 months longer than teenagers who didn’t pledge, yet they were six times more likely to engage in oral sex than virgins who hadn’t taken a pledge. They were also much less likely to use condoms during their first sexual experience or to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases."

Fact: Kids who have taken abstinence pledges tend to be more in danger of teen pregnancy than those who haven't.

I'm simply asking... how can we equip our kids NOT to fail?

And people are asking a good question: if a kid listens to the abstinence message and says, "Nope, I'm gonna have sex." Should we say... "Well, still don't buy a condom because that would just be admitting to the fact that you're going to do it!"???

It's hard for me to get excited about this when I know condoms aren't the answer. But all facts considered... is Randi's question bad?

Last month we saw articles in every major newspaper about the new report that one in four teen girls has an STD. People were shocked. This week we’re asking for your response and I’ll be blogging about the subject all week.

I have to admit... I wasn't surprised by the results of this report in the slightest. What has surprised me in this highly sexualized culture is that we haven't seen this report sooner.

If you missed the report, here's a snippet from U.S. News:

More than 3 million teenaged girls have at least one sexually transmitted disease (STD), a new government study suggests.

The most severely affected are African-American teens. In fact, 48 percent of African-American teenaged girls have an STD, compared with 20 percent of white teenaged girls.

"These numbers translate into 3.2 million young women nationwide who are infected with an STD," Forhan said. "This means that far too many young women are at risk of the serious health effects of untreated STDs, including infertility and cervical cancer."

These common STDs include human papillomavirus (HPV), chlamydia, herpes simplex virus and trichomoniasis, Forhan said.

So who is to blame?

It's probably not too difficult to guess who Planned Parenthood is blaming:

Cecile Richards, president of Planned Parenthood Federation of America, said the study shows that "the national policy of promoting abstinence-only programs is a $1.5 billion failure, and teenage girls are paying the real price." Huffington Post, 3/11/2008

Let's hold off any analysis of abstinence education for a second… but we will be returning to the subject.

What about the influence of the media? Are they to blame? You might remember last month when I blogged  about lyrics and I noted that in 2007, The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) revealed that “teens who listened to lots of music with degrading sexual messages were almost twice as likely to start having intercourse…as teens who listened to little or no sexually degrading music.” (Houston Chronicle)

But is that where the blame rests? Just the media?

Where are parents?

Let me assure you. The BEST abstinence and or sex education of any kind is from parents who talk with their kids honestly about sex-- an ongoing conversation. Sure, we, as a society can't count on this communication to always happen at home, so we need to provide sex education in other venues as well. But do parents really see this ongoing communication in the home as their responsibility?

What best equips kids for these sexual decisions? What kind of sex education can prevent 1 in 4 girls from getting a disease that will probably have permanent consequences?

I ask you this, because this week in this blog we’ll be looking at the effectiveness of abstinence education, the influence of the media and other issues that contribute toward this “1 in 4” stat.

Comments?

On THE SOURCE Podcast Episode #14 Furby and I talked about a retreat that Furby's church does for junior high students every year called the Relationships Retreat. It's a retreat where they talk about everything to do with sex and dating- a whole weekend on the subject.

In the podcast we discuss it and then we mention that we'll provide you with the rough outline of what subjects they talked on and any books and or websites they used for reference material. So here's the list, as promised:

FROM FURBY

Topics we hit at the Relationships Retreat:
 
• Self-Image and Puberty
• Friendship (God's plan for real friendship)
• Dating (boundaries, how far is too far, etc.)
• Porn and Masturbation (we split up the guys and girls for this)
• Sex and consequences
• What to do if you've messed up in the past
• Purity Challenge (VERY DISTINCT from a Virginity Challenge)

Here's a list of GREAT resources we used to write our booklet and to teach out of.  I've put the books in order of most used and relevant:

Purity Under Pressure.  Neil T. Anderson & Dave Park
The Invisible Bond.  Barbara Wilson  (Barb's book and all her work are incredible.  We ALWAYS have Barb or one of her interns come and speak at our retreat.  Her work and ability to communicate are incredible.  I would highly recommend to anyone trying to do a Relationships Retreat that they make Barb Wilson an essential part of the their Retreat.)
Sex God. Rob Bell
Sexy Girls.  Hayley Dimarco
Too Close Too Soon.  Jim Talley & Bobbie Reed
The What's Happening to My Body? Book for Boys.  Lynda Madaras
And the Two Became One.  Dianne S. Dewane
God on Sex.  Daniel L. Akin

And of course Jonathan's resources and his seminar: www.RecommendingSex.com

And here's some more web sites:
www.sitemaker.umich.edu  (University of Michigan educational website)
www.icrsurvey.com  (stats)
www.cdc.gov  (Center for Disease Control)
www.teenpregnancy.org

Now it's your turn. We want you to use the comment feature of this blog to let us know what resources you have used to teach on the subject.

This blog is just the first on this subject this week. Tomorrow we talk about the "1 in 4 teenage girls have an STD" statistic.

Okay... I am constantly shocked by TV, but last night was a totally different kind of surprise. If you saw it, you were probably as surprised as me. American Idol opened up their show last night (Thursday) with the "Top 8" singing the worship song, Shout to the Lord.

Yes... the first words sung on American Idol last night were, "My Jesus, My Savior, Lord there is none like you."

Check it out! (if you are receiving this in an email, click here to see it)

Wow!

Yes... last week (with Dolly Parton) we heard them sing about Jesus in a couple of songs. I was a little suprised then. But wow... two weeks in a row? And Shout to the Lord? Wow.  (Did I mention, "Wow!")

But then I discoverd something interesting on the internet this morning. This was the SECOND time they sang this song.

Huh?

Yeah... I missed the first time also. For the rest of you who have TIVO like me, when we watched Idol Gives Back, your recording probably ended without hearing the closing number. But if you go on YouTube today you can view the closing number of Idol Gives Back (Wednesday night) where the "Top 8" are wearing white outfits and singing Shout to the Lord. (followed by Ben Stiller coming on stage for a final word where he drops a few cuss words that have to be bleeped out- talk about a contrast)

Wait... this gets more interesting. In that previous version, they start with the words, "My shepherd, my savior. Lord there is none like you."  That's right. They left Jesus out of it. Check it out (if you are receiving this as an email, click here to see it).

Hmmmmmmm.

It's funny. Yesterday the internet was filled with blogs of ticked off Christians ranting about "Why did they take Jesus out of the song!" People were outraged.

Sure, I wouldn't have liked it (if I had seen that version of the song first). But it doesn't surprise me at all. What surprises me is that Jesus made it back in!!!

So what happened overnight that put Jesus back in the lyrics? (because I know Fox wasn't listening to those whiney blogs)

Does anyone know why Jesus was voted back in just before Michael was voted off?

By now you've probably heard the news about eight Florida teens that beat their friend senseless and filmed it to post on YouTube. Six of the teenagers were girls. The victim? A 16 year old girl.

The shocking part of the story is that they filmed the whole thing and didn't ever realize that the film would be used as evidence against them. Now there is a chance that they might be tried as adults and could be sentenced to life in prison.

Even more shocking is their responses. At their arrests, the girls joked, “Guess we’re not going to go to the beach on this spring break,” while another one asked detectives, “Am I going to be released in time to go to cheerleading practice tomorrow?”

CNN describes the scene:

The video shows a brutal scene: The 16-year-old victim is punched, kneed and slapped by other girls. She huddles in the fetal position, or stands and screams at her attackers, but the assault continues. Authorities say the eight teens said they were retaliating for insults posted on the Internet by the attack victim.

Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd called the March 30 attack "animalistic."

Ironically, our own David R. Smith was writing a YOUTH CULTURE WINDOW article on violence when this occured. Next week you'll see his research in that article on our front page (in the big magnifying glass).

Today's blog will be short as I'm finishing up my last touches on a workshop I'm teaching In Sacramento tomorrow where I'm training volunteer managers how to recruit and manage volunteers. I'm focusing a good chunk of the workshop on understanding GENERATION Y but I'll also be teaching them how to recruit 21st Century volunteers and keep them once you've got em!'

This workshop is fun to prepare. It's called THE NEW BREED, based off the book of the same title that my dad and I wrote together.

I love training. Nothing excites me more than equipping a group of people to go make a difference. It doesn't get better than that.

My dad offers a ton of free resources and idea for managing and equipping today's volunteer on his website: www.VolunteerPower.com

I've been researching our highly sexualized media this week in preparation for next week's discussion forum we'll have about the recent statistic that "1 in 4 teenage girls has an STD."

(Side note: if you aren't a subsriber to this blog yet, make sure you pop onto my blog page and sign up using the red Subscribe button on the left hand side bar. You won't want to miss next week's discussion.)

In my research I came across this interesting little tidbit from Media Life Magazine... sex, violence and dirty talk remain big turnoffs for TV advertisers.

Media Life reports:

And the shows that turned off advertisers three or six years ago still turn off advertisers, and leading that list is "Jerry Springer," the daytime chat show in which couples often go at each other with foul language and fists.

That's the finding of a Media Life survey of media planners and buyers that was posted earlier this week asking readers to identity the Dirty Dozen, the TV shows their clients were most inclined to avoid.

Other shows advertisers are inclined to avoid are wrestling, "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit," "Cops," "Reno 911," "Sex and the City," "South Park, "Family Guy," "TMZ," the new syndicated gossip show, "Desperate Housewives," "Maury," "Two and a Half Men," "The Simpsons," the syndicated court shows, "Cashmere Mafia," "Dexter," "American Gladiators," "Nip/Tuck," "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" and "Rescue Me."

Hmmmmmm.

I've noticed two trends out of numerous musical artists and celebrities lately.

1. Become more sexualized
2. Care about the world

Why not do both? That's what Madonna is proposing (along with Justin Timberlake and Timbaland) in her new song "4 Minutes." Check it out.

The video speaks for itself, and the words of this catchy song convey a message that Madonna has been preaching for years. "If you feel it, It must be real." Isn't that good advice? Get in the back seat with your boyfriend/girlfriend and go with "what feels right" at the moment.

Here's an excerpt from a Madonna lyric site:

Madonna and Justin:
If you want it, You already got it
If you've thought it, It better be what you want
If you feel it, It must be real just...
Say the word, and I will give you what you want

Madonna: Time is waiting
Justin: We only got 4 minutes to save the world
Madonna: No hesitating
Madonna: Grab a boy
Justin: Grab a girl
Madonna: Time is waiting
Justin: We only got 4 minutes to save the world

So, are our kids actually listening to this? The answer is a recordbreaking "yes."

"4 Minutes" sits in the #1 spot on iTunes right now in "Top Songs" AND "Top Videos" AND "Top Ringtones." This song helped Madonna surpass Elvis Presley from his standing as the artist with the most top 10s (This is Madonna's 37th top 10). Billboard reports that "4 Minutes" jumped from 63 to #3 last week on their Hot 100 chart. That was spurred by over 200,000 downloads the first week of it's release along with Mariah Carey's "Touch My Body" (surprise surprise).

MTV.com has the highly sexualized video readily available on the front page. iTunes has the song and video, along with a pre-order for her new album Hard Candy (already ranked #9 in downloads right now, and it's not even available yet... what's that tell you?). YouTube has it. Verizon had it as a "Verizon Exclusive" digital download... and yes... if you haven't figured it out by now, most kids now have it in their phones and iPods.

Hmmmmmm.

Food for thought as we talk about abstinence and the "1 and 4 girls have an STD" statistic next week.

What’s your biggest fear? Shark attack? Hurricane? Spiders?

If you asked me that question I wouldn’t even hesitate to answer: I’m scared of the crosswalk lady at my daughter’s school!

That’s right, the crosswalk lady. To the innocent passerby she might seem nice and sweet. But really she’s just waiting to pounce on someone and inflict her justice! She’s a mall security guard gone bad!

My daughter’s school has numerous volunteers that help guide traffic in and out of the parking lot, stopping traffic as needed for the children to cross the crosswalk onto the school campus. Some of the volunteers are nice soccer moms. Some are men. But one of them is a woman with an agenda. She’s gonna clean up this school by kicking butt and taking names!

The school has a routine in place of how parents should drop off their kids. It’s a little tricky for new parents, but once you get it down it’s easy. This school is a special school that brings kids from all over town. There are no busses, so the “car” traffic is pretty busy on any given morning. No worries. All a parent needs to do is wait in the line of cars, pull in the long circular driveway, stop when traffic stops, and drop off your child.

Where’s the problem?

That’s what I’m still wondering.

Here’s what seems to be the problem:

  I didn’t pull up far enough.
  I pulled up too far.
  I didn’t stop soon enough.
  I stopped too soon!
  I dropped her off to early… no…. I dropped her off too late!

Aaaaauuugh! I feel as if I’m being followed by a police car in a 55 zone and he’ll pull me over for speeding at 56, but he’ll cite me for obstructing traffic at 54. “Please little foot… be strong and sure! Maintain that 55!”

My wife Lori and I “rock-paper-scissors” who gets to drop off Ashley each morning. We don’t mind dropping off Alec. Heck, I’ll carry Alyssa on my BACK to her school! Just DON’T make me have to go and face that NAZI at Ashley’s school.

So if you ever see me in the corner of my office, crouched in fetal position, sucking my thumb and mumbling, “Mama… mama…” you’ll know that I just dropped off Ashley.

Oh how I loathe that crosswalk lady!

Virtual worlds are huge with kids today... and they are about to become even bigger.

Nick announced today that it's developing an entire virtual world, "involving games, avatars and a strong social-networking component, based on network hit 'Spongebob Squarepants.'"

What is a virtual world you ask? Our own David R. Smith in his recent Youth Culture Window article on virtual worlds defined them as "3 dimensional internet communities that couple the attraction of online social networking with the appeal of online gaming."

Have you heard of Gaia Online? Club Penguin? Webkins (I've blogged about them)? Neopets? Nicktropolis? These are just a few examples of these online worlds where kids can create a character (avatar) and live in an online la-la land.

Are these just for kids? Nope. They've been around long enough that many of today's younger teenagers have grown up with them. Ypulse's Anastasia listed virtual worlds first as one of the biggest trend with teenagers in 2007. Anastasia shares...

I have no doubt that virtual worlds, like Habbo Hotel, Zwinktopia, Gaia Online, There and MTV's worlds have become a hit with millions of teenagers. I just don't sense that it's teens en masse quite yet. But I think eMarketer got it right when they predicted that "by 2011, 53% of them will be going virtual." This year, the real explosion of virtual worlds happened for kids and tweens. Club Penguin and Webkinz can almost be seen as the mothers or fathers of the next wave of virtual worlds for kids.

Rueters reported today about Nick's development of an entire virtual world and...

Nick also is expected to announce that it is developing Monkey World, a social-networking and massive multiplayer game based on an original concept and not tied to any of its existing franchises.

The network also will announce that it will increase the interactivity on its Neopets site through a new virtual world called World of Neopia, and will add a paid tier to Nicktropolis, the overarching virtual world that's divided into sections based on Nick television shows and other properties. SpongeBob, Monkey World and Neopia also will have paid tiers when they launch next year.

Nicktropolis currently averages about 1.5 million visitors per month, and executives said the paid tier will preserve that traffic by charging only for additional features like personalization. The company declined to disclose pricing details for the new tier or say what it might charge for various virtual words, though it's likely that pay tiers could be a key part of its revenue strategy.

It sounds like eMarker's prediction of 53% of teenagers going virtual by 2011 might not be far off.

Hmmmmm.

Can you say eye candy?

Well, Mariah is at it again, selling what sells. And our kids are watching.

If you jump on MTV.com (like our kids do) and look where your eyes lead you on the front page today they will drift to the MTV.com video picks. The number one slot is filled with Mariah Carey's "Touch My Body."

Hmmmmmm.

 (I'm preparing you for my blog in the next few weeks where I will be addressing the issue of teens and their decisions about sex)

Miley, Avril, The Jonas Brothers… do these names mean anything to you? Because they mean a lot to our young kids & tweens.

If any of you have young kids that watch TV, last weekend you probably noticed that Nickelodeon’s Kid’s Choice Awards were on Saturday (If you were watching Sponge Bob, you were given glimpses of the Awards at every break).

I’m torn when it comes to these awards. On one side of the spectrum I’m relieved that most of the winners selected are pretty innocent, as today’s culture goes (I’ll list the major winners in a minute and make a few comments). But on the other side of the coin, I’m NOT a big fan of this show. Two reasons:

1. It’s a bunch of kids trying to grow up WAY too fast (little girls trying to be hoochies and boys copping the attitude of rock stars!) 
2. As innocent as this content is, compared to its older sibling, The Teen Choice Awards (Every year I write an article about these awards as well)… the Kid’s Choice Awards still will award celebrities that are far from positive role models for questionable content.

Right now if you click on the Kid’s Choice Awards web site you will hear the live performance of Naked Brothers Band singing “I Don’t Want to Go to School.” (Hey kids, you can have a bad attitude and a hit band before you even hit puberty!) Watching this concert gave me a flashback of Pinocchio’s trip to “Pleasure Island.” (Remember the land where the kids ran free and were allowed to do everything they wanted?)

But I’ll admit, I was pleased with the actual awards they gave out. Some years I’ve cringed at some of the recipients, but this year, with a couple exceptions, they were a pretty clean lot.

Here’s a glimpse of a few of the winners: