Tough situation.2 Issues:
- loving kids that are tough to love
- shepherding our Christian kids
How can you love this one kid, with out sacrificing the others.
Okay- a lot of people would say that Jesus would tell us to go after the one sheep . . . but did he leave his 99 unprotected? And didn't he follow that story with another story about a runaway SON that the father LET run away? He didn't chase after him, but WAITED until he came home? Of course the point of both those stories is not to tell us how to take care of others, but to let us know that God loves us so much that he cares about the 1 of the 99, the lost 1 of 10, the one that ran away.
Okay- enough theology. What the heck do you do with the kid.
I think you be very loving, and yet very firm.
Take the kid out one on one and let him know that he's always welcome . . . but there are boundaries. Let him know that if he keeps messing with the drugs you'll be there for him, but he's not welcome to come and distract the youth group.
The hard part of this is when he seems to have his act together, yet he comes to group and picks up on your girls. What do you tell him then? Or do you warn the girls? I don't think you warn them- but it wouldn't be inappropriate for one of your female staff to spend time with the girl that he's picking up on to make sure she's making good decisions.
If he does cross a line- violate a girl, do drugs, etc. Then kick him out. Let him know that even though he's kicked out of group, your door is always open at your house . . . at your office.
From personal experience I can tell you- the ones I kicked out of my weekly program are often the ones that came back to my door later because they knew I loved them.
Hope this helps.