The Source for Youth Ministry


JONATHAN: OK, very good! So, tell us, what's sin #2?

DANETTE: #2 is having something to prove. And as a recovering "chip on her shoulder" woman inministry, I can speak to this. Fortunately, I've had some great examples of women in ministry, but I'vealso had some bad ones. And it's good that I've seen those bad examples. This is the kind of woman whois competing with every person in the room, man or woman. For instance, I know a very sharp woman inministry who is very gifted, talented, and a creative speaker, but her kids and her leaders say that sheargues with her husband in front of everyone.

JONATHAN: Wow. Now, let me meddle here a little while. Is this unique to women? I mean, we've allmet guys who have chips on their shoulders. So, why is it different for a woman who is in youth ministry?

DANETTE: Excellent question. I think it's a sin for either to be someone who feels the need to becondescending or who has to prove something, but as Jeanne Mayo puts it, you can be strong and assertive,but remain a lady. You can still be a lady and a strong woman.



JONATHAN: Alright, so tell us, what is sin #4?

DANETTE: Sin #4 is not treating men like men.

JONATHAN: Ooh! I like the sound of this one!

DANETTE: Yeah, well it is a sin. One of my heroes and mentors Jeanne Mayo used to say that a lot.When I took on the interim role at church, I called her up and we talked about this issue. I mean, someof volunteers are men, many, half my age. And she encouraged me to treat them like men, not boys. Andanybody who knows her knows she has raised up hundreds and hundreds of youth pastors and missionaries andlead pastors all over the world and most of them are men.

JONATHAN: Well give us an example of what this looks like.

DANETTE: I'll be glad to. I've got a wonderful intern right now. He's been a volunteer with us fora few years. He says I'm his mom in the Lord, and it's been a great opportunity to mentor him. We have ourone-on-one's, our one-day-a-week's where I coach him or mentor him, but I treat him as my brother in theLord. He may treat me like a mom in the Lord, but I do NOT treat him like a little kid.


DANETTE: Even though he's half my age, I honor him as my brother in Christ... And I think when youcall out the best in young men you'll find that they will rise to the occasion. I haven't always done itthis way. When I was young in my twenties and thirties, I sometimes had a chip on my shoulder and havingno boundaries. But I've taken some knocks and learned the hard way, but I see the fruit of this way now.Even with young men who are not great leaders or good examples of godly men, still when I honor them, whenI respect them, when it's time to fire them, I can look them in the eye and say, I've not micromanaged you,and you know that I've honored you as my brother in Christ.

JONATHAN: And that way, they can walk out...a fired MAN.


DANETTE: A fired man, yes, but they're not browbeaten. And so Sin #5 goes hand in hand with it andit is....

Click here for moreof this podcast where Danette goes on to share Sin # 5, "treating women as competition," and two other greatpieces of wisdom for women (and men) in ministry! Also, you can catch the resource Highlight and Help Meportion of this podcast.