(A Girls-Only Study of Modesty and Beauty)
Main Point: Modesty offers us the opportunity to use our beauty to bring God glory.
The Discussion Starter:
Jessica Rey is an actress, a seamstress, an author, and a thinker. The beautiful young woman recently grew disillusioned with female apparel, so she started her own line of clothing that’s based on modesty and beauty instead of pure sex appeal.
In this clip, Rey goes over the history of the bikini and shares some really interesting insights about how the garment has evolved over the years. Her big idea is that bikinis weren’t always so readily accepted by our culture, and that given viable alternatives, the meager threads might move from evolution to extinction.
Take a look at her presentation to see if you agree.
The Video Clip:
The video is available at the following link:
I bet you didn’t know that the bikini had such a tumultuous beginning. From your vantage point, most of you probably assume the bikini has always been around and has always been accepted. Not according to Jessica. Regardless, there is nothing we can do to change history, only the future. In a world that views women as objects and sex as consequence-free, I want to challenge you to see the beauty and appeal of modesty. In fact, I want you to strive to use your beauty to bring God glory. That is not only possible, but expected of us by God. Let’s discuss this highly debated topic in our small groups and consult God’s Word on the matter.
Divide into Small Groups:
Let’s go ahead and split up into our discussion groups, and then afterward we’ll come back together for a final word.
CLICK HERE for a quick training article on how to maximize your small groups using our small group format—a great resource to equip your small group leaders.
- AROUND THE CIRCLE: As we get started, let’s all take a second to share our names and whether or not you like to go to the beach.
- ASK A FEW: What do you think about bikinis? Are they acceptable, or are they racy?
- AROUND THE CIRCLE: Do you own a bikini? If so, why? If not, why not?
- ASK A FEW: The whole point of Jessica’s presentation was to show how the bikini has evolved over the years, and by evolved, I mean shrunk. In fact, she even quotes some early thoughts on bikinis and says they are “a suspect garment favored by licentious Mediterranean types” and “no girl with tact or decency would wear such a thing.” What do you think caused smaller bikinis to be more accepted?
- ASK A FEW: In the clip, Jessica says that parents are partly to blame because they buy bikinis for their daughters. Are parents to blame? If so, how much? If not, why not?
- ASK A FEW: Were you surprised to learn that guys who view girls wearing bikinis see them as “objects” instead of people? Why do you think guys do that?
- ASK A FEW: Does a bikini give a girl power? Why or why not?
- ASK A FEW: How do you want a guy to look at you?
Read the following passage:
ASK A FEW: In this verse, Paul says that women should dress with modesty and self-control. Why is God concerned with how we dress?
ASK A FEW: In her presentation, Jessica argued for modesty. Can modesty really be attractive? Why or why not?
ASK A FEW: How can a woman be modest in the way she dresses? Give a few examples.
Read the following passage:
1 Timothy 2:9
Likewise, women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire.
ASK A FEW: Which does Peter say is more important: inner beauty or outer beauty? Why?
ASK A FEW: What are some ways in which we can adorn our inner person? Be specific.
ASK A FEW: Why does God think our inner beauty is so “precious”?
AROUND THE CIRCLE: The final question Jessica asks is the final question I will ask: How will you use your beauty?
1 Peter 3:3-4
Do not let your adorning be external- the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing- 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.
I’m always a little skeptical when I see a person who’s not exactly “beautiful” on the outside bashing fashion or image. But Jessica Rey is a wonderfully attractive young lady who also happens to defy our culture’s standards of beauty by asking questions about an iconic piece of apparel known as the bikini.
In short, Jessica said that research has shown that guys see girls more as “objects” than “people” when they wear bikinis. If a young lady was hoping to gain power by wearing a bikini, she’s actually taken a step backward by giving control to someone else. Too many young ladies wear bikinis (and other skimpy clothing) to get attention. Jessica argued that wearing a bikini didn’t get a young lady the right kind of attention or respect.
But she also presented a solution to the problem she outlined. Instead of just blaming and complaining, she actually designed a line of beach clothing that would give girls an alternative to bikinis. That takes a lot of hard work and determination, not to mention, courage.
But here’s the real point I’d like us to have cemented in our minds. God has given each of us the opportunity to be beautiful on the inside and outside. But He requires that we use our beauty to glorify Him.
So many of us, if we’re honest, think our beauty is supposed to bring us glory. We want others looking at us. We want others thinking about us. We want others to want us. We want others to want to be us! But problems arise when we start trying to point back at ourselves instead of honoring God.
Ladies, we can’t honor God if we are dressing immodestly. In fact, we can’t even obey God if we are dressing immodestly.
So, here’s what I’d like for you to do. I’d like for you to think about your attitudes for a moment. Are you trying to bring attention to God…or to yourself? I’d like for you to think about your wardrobe for a moment. Does it comply with Scripture…or is it filled with clothes that are immodest? Finally, I want you to think about the ways you can glorify with your beauty. Are you willing to do what it takes to honor and glorify Him…or are you just going to keep on doing the same things that others do?
I hope that Jessica’s thoughts and God’s Word will deeply impact how you dress your bodies because how you dress, in large part, determines how you live. If you’d like to discuss this further after we close in prayer, I and a few of the other ladies would love to talk with you.
Close in Prayer